2010's Top 5 Most Annoying Public Figures

You know, I tried to write something funny about Chelsea Handler. But when it comes to someone as lame as her it’s really just an exercise in futility.

For some reason women think that Handler is a beacon of liberation. That a woman can be just as unapologetic about whoring around as a man. But the truth is, only women that are of sub-par attractiveness take on that type of behavior. They have to if they ever want to get laid.

And while some see Handler as the model for women making a stand in a man’s world, she wasn’t beneath (quite literally) getting to the top by the beaten down path of fucking her way there.

Chelsea is the type of girl you’d find at a party. You know the one; Obnoxious, loud-mouthed, doing keg stands and saying shit that would make a trucker blush. All this is good fun if you’re looking for a quick (and sloppy) lay with zero effort put into it on your part. But after that sexual transaction is finished, all you really want that bitch to do is shut the fuck up.

And here is where Handler becomes truly annoying. She doesn’t know when to shut the fuck up.

After Handler was allowed to spend a weekend with the lonely, frigid, one-dimensional A-list actress Jennifer Aniston, Chelsea thought it was a good idea to publicly bash the woman that “stole” Anniston’s husband away 5 years ago.

Apparently Chelsea thought that using her mouth for anything other than a blow-job was a good idea. But unfortunately, when she doesn’t have her team of writers making up her material, she’s not funny, or relevant, or even newsworthy. Not to mention that Anniston herself was pissed that Handler decided to weigh in on an event that took place at a time when Chelsea was still giving out hand-jobs in rest stops on the way to Vegas.

But in an effort to keep things balanced, here's the accomplishments of Jolie on film. And here's Handler’s accomplishments on film. Here is what Jolie does to contribute to the world. And here, here & here are Handler’s contributions to society.

Now I’ve never regarded myself as an intellectual person or even a man of common and rational sense. But somewhere in the dark recesses of my mind, Handler shooting her cock holster off about Jolie seems as ill fated and pointless as someone sitting down to watch Handler’s sex tape.

With Chelsea Handler, you can almost feel her desperation of trying too hard. And that's why she's one of 2010's top 5 most annoying public figures. Although I'm sure she would refer to herself as a pubic figure because she's so witty and dangerous. Oh Chelsea, you really are a card...the type of card that says the virus is untreatable.