INT. PETER’S CAR - DAY
Peter drives while Quagmire sits shotgun.
QUAGMIRE
I’m telling you, Peter the
Last 15 minutes of The Human
Centipede was just tasteless,
really awful and nauseating.
PETER
Kinda like that imitation
crab we had for dinner last night.
CUT TO:
INT. GRIFFIN DINING ROOM - NIGHT
The family sits around a dinner table full of food. In between Chris & Meg sit’s a giant crab with a plate and utensils set before him. He laughs hysterically & chomps on a cigar as the family looks upon him with disapproval.
CRAB
Okay, my next imitation is of
a woman waking up during her abortion.
The crab leans back in his chair and props his legs, spread eagle, on the table.
CRAB
Ugh..what’s, what’s hap-
Oh my gawd! There’s a vacuum
shoved up inside me! Somebody help!
The crab convulses then squirts / shoots his tomalley out onto the dinner table. He waits for applause, only gets shocked silence. The Crab waits a beat.
CRAB
Umm, anyone wanna eat that?
The entire family simultaneously throws up all over the table.
CUT TO:
INT. PETER’S CAR - DAY
Peter has the look of distaste on his face. Quagmire looks intrigued.
PETER
Fuckin’ crab. Made us all
sick
END SCENE.
