Superbowl something or another came and went and we all got
to witness first hand just how violent and humiliating prison rape truly
is. Up until Sunday some folks would use
words like “Champions” “MVP” & “Unbeatable” when talking about the Denver
Broncos. Come Monday those same people were using words such as “Decimated” “Massacred”
& “Total Fucking Dipshits” to describe the Mile High Masturbators and their
harsh (and hilarious) fall from grace.
Personally, I was ecstatic to watch them crumble like a 3rd
world shanty during a 9.0 on the Richter scale. I’m sure others weren’t as
enthusiastic about their shameful loss such as this pre-mature
ejaculator. But regardless of who you were rooting for, none of us can
disagree about the biggest divisive play of the game which didn’t happen
anywhere CLOSE to the field.
Coca-Cola aired a commercial of a bunch of people singing
America the Beautiful in their native language and God damn it if the entire
universe didn’t split in half.
Apparently some folks of the xenophobe variety took offense
to this (if you don’t know what a xenophobe is, chances are you are one) and said that it
was sacrilegious, insulting and downright blasphemous. The audaciousness of
Coke’s endearing marketing move drove rednecks by the thousands to threaten to
boycott the product.
I don’t know much about history other than if we forget it
we’re doomed to repeat it, so in that aspect I just usually catch shit on its
re-run. But what I am sure of is that the U S of A was founded by people that
did not speak the language of the land’s indigenous people. This in turn made
it nearly impossible for the newly arrived (without an invitation) immigrants
to be able to get a job, have a house or buy that kick ass new Lincoln
Continental with the suicide doors.
So what did the immigrants do to fix their dilemma? They systematically
wiped out the indigenous people and their way of life through genocide. And for
what reason? To insure that one day fat-ass descendents of immigrants could
consume a gnarly concoction full of sugar, high-fructose corn syrup, calories
& carbs and then threaten the company that manufactures it because they had
OTHER immigrants sing a song in one of their commercials.
I think it’s a safe
bet that of all the rednecks up in arms about the sanctity of America the
Beautiful being sullied, maybe only 20% of those jack asses actually know all
the words to that song themselves. And of that 20% maybe (and I’m being very
generous here) 3% of them can correctly spell all the words to that song.
Which begs the question, who’s more of an abomination to
America the Beautiful?
Personally I thought it was a beautiful commercial. When I
hear a song I never pay attention to the words I listen to the melody. The
melody is the heart of every song. It’s what strikes you and stays with you
long after the song has ended. And
regardless of how many times America the Beautiful was sung in a different
language, the melody never changed, and that’s the beauty of the message.
We’re all different, yet all the same and if we can
appreciate our differences instead of hate them, things can be pretty fucking
awesome.
But of course there’s
always some group of fuck heads that have to complain about “their” way of life
being infringed upon. But the way I see it, so long as you can let yourself
balloon up to 300 lbs, ride your motorized cart around Wal-Mart & eat at
McDonalds every day without this new era of immigrants committing genocide to
you and yours, you’re still winning. So shut the fuck up and have a Coke and a
smile.
