I hate most episodic shows for the following reasons: Stupid. Predictable. Only offered on cable (which I’m adamantly opposed to for moral and fiscal reasons). Plus, getting involved in ongoing shows takes a certain level of commitment, discipline and patience which my constitution severely lacks.
The few times I have gotten involved with a series I ended up heartbroken because it either got cancelled (Party Down) or I was forced to wait an ungodly amount of time for the second season (Archer).
That’s why when I saw the advertisement for AMC’s The Walking Dead, I just ignored it. Sure, it banged on my door much like the zombies in it, but I was smarter. I knew how to side-step such clunky antagonists that wanted to take me down in some way, shape or form.
Plus, it was on basic cable, which I didn’t have, so problem solved.
But I-tunes in their whorrific ways offered the first episode for free, just like drug dealers do. And that’s all it took. As soon as it was over I gave Apple my credit card so I could have access to all those lovely episodes as soon as they were aired.
I’ve gotta admit. TWD is the best goddamn show I’ve seen in a long time. Zombie stories by and large are pretty one dimensional but this show finds a way to give it depth, humanity and drama. Granted it’s just a soap opera but it’s a gory soap opera set in post apocalyptic America which I can give two severed thumbs up to.
That’s why when I was informed after watching episode 6 that it was the season finale, I, like it’s zombies, lost my fucking mind. The fact that a Bob Dylan song was the audible send off was salt in the wound. You want to talk about bringing on a zombie induced state, just listen to Dylan for a couple seconds and see if you don’t try to chew your own ears off.
What a total buzz kill.
So as soon as I came to terms with my abandonment issues and realized that I’d once again fallen for the allure of a good show (much like a hot girl) I searched the net (much like a stalker chases that hot girl) to find out when it would return (call me back).
October 2011.
Yeah, 10 whole months. Do you realize what could happen to your life in just the span of 60 seconds? Now do the math; that comes out to 25920000 seconds*, I don’t even know where to put the comma. My point being is that’s a lot of time for anything to happen to my precious (my precious) show.
In my scouring of the web like it was Karen Silkwood in a decontamination shower, I came across some unsettling news about the show. Rumors were abound that all the writers were fired and that some of the cast may or may not return. Granted it was just industry chatter but still, my emotions are much too fragile to have to endure such uncertainties.
But none of that matters now, I’ve been bitten, I’m in for the long haul, the long wait, the endless months of wandering about aimlessly in a wasteland of mediocrity hoping a cure will come.
God damn you Walking Dead. I hope you trip and fall! Wait, I didn’t mean that, I love you, come back!
*I’m publicly educated so I have no idea if my mathematic skills were on point or not.
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